Chapter 215
Chapter 215
“And he stopped you because he is trying to protect you. I still don’t understand the purpose of her visit.” Raven scrunches up her face. “She came alone. She told you she hasn’t seen my brother in months.”
“Dane doesn’t believe that?”
She cocks her brow. “He doesn’t?”
Shaking my head, I sigh, I wasn’t supposed to tell her that. “He is certain he could smell him on her.” Again, I had been too caught up in the ever seeping darkness to take notice of anything but my apparent half sister.
The world could have been imploding around me and I would have been oblivious.
She pauses to let my words sink in and then carries on as though I never mentioned him. “Just turning up to tell you your father allegedly had an affair, I call bullshit. Damien saw her like six months ago. She was in the city. It wouldn’t have been hard to find our location, even if my dipshit brother is helping her. So why has she waited all this time?”
“Your guess is as good as mine.”
*****
Dorothy is playing peek-a-boo with the boys. Their giggles turn into hysterical laughter as she pops up from under their high chairs. She had this amazing way with them and loved to make them laugh. Damien said she had a need to feel wanted. Something I understood too well.
She never talked about what happened to her to anyone other than Damien. If someone walked in when she was mid chatting, she would stop immediately. I was happy that she had a safe person.
There were times where I wondered if I would have turned out like her if I had been saved after my parents death rather than being forced into hell until I met Dane.
“Dottie.” Damien mutters. “Please eat your breakfast.”
“I’m just playing Daddy.”
“You can play as much as you want when you have eaten.”
She continues to pull faces at the twins as she settles on a chair at the table.
“How are you?” Damien asks while putting pancakes on Dorothy’s plate.
I nod, because if I let out how I really feel, I was scared that there would be no coming back.
When breakfast is done, Raven takes the kids to go get cleaned up and dressed for the day.
I sit there, watching Damien move around the kitchen clearing up. “How did it feel?”
He pauses and slowly turns back to me. “I’m assuming you are asking me what it felt like to become Rogue.”
My shoulders drop as I nod my head. He puts down his plates and sits back at the table opposite me. A crease forms between his brows.
“At first it felt right.”
I snort. That was the last thing I thought he would say.
“I’m going to tell you how it is, Neah. There is no point in lying. You talk about the darkness and that’s exactly what happens. It creeps in, sticking to your insides like a cancer without you knowing.
There will be little flashes of it and it’s always there, tightly coiling around your insides until there is no goodness left.”
He leans forward to grab the juice and pours himself another glass. I’m sure right now, with this conversation, he would prefer something much stronger.
“Decisions will become darker and you won’t realise until it’s too late. When it finally happens, you feel free. Everything becomes easier. Life makes more sense.”
“But eventually, you end up trapped. A vicious cycle, destined to achieve one goal. That life that was once freeing becomes the very bane of your existence. You have to fight it, Neah. You have to be the Alpha you are supposed to be and you can’t do that if you become a Rogue.”
“Do you think my past has led to this?”
“Likely, yes. There is something inside of you that looks for freedom and you feel as though you are yet to find it. You need to look around you Neah. Everyone here cares about you. No one here wants to harm you. You are not beaten, you are not starved. You have a mate that adores you. You have everything going for you. Do not let one scorned woman tear you down from who you are supposed to be.”
“It doesn’t stop.”
“It will never stop.” He frowns “The darkness will always be there. It will never fade. You need to learn to channel it. But don’t let it become you.”
“You still fight it, even now?”
“I will for the rest of my life.” He smiles, his eyes lighting up. “Raven helps, but she doesn’t know how much. She’s a beacon of light in the darkness and when I feel the darkness slipping. I seek her
out. Mallory and I can help you as much as we can, but until you find your own light, it will be a battle.”
The question burns and I should force it down, but it tumbles from my mouth as though it needed to be heard. “What if I can’t? What if… What if this is too deeply embedded inside of me?”
“Do you really believe that?”