Chapter 44
Chapter 44
It was bright. I could feel the warmth of the sunlight, smell the scent of the flowers, and hear the sounds of the birds chirping in the distance. It was peaceful here, wherever here was Beautiful and serene. It was so tranquil and pretty. I could feel a dull ache in my chest as I stepped into what looked like a cadow of flowers, my eyes scanning the beautiful scenery. a wistful smile on my face as I tried to work out what had happened. The last thing I could remember was Luna Jennifer plunging her claws into my chest and then darkness until now. Had I died? Was this the afterlife? I had no regrets, nothing as I stood there, lost in contemplation. I would miss Xavier and Xander, but if this was how I had gone, I could not bring myself to be too upset about it.I consoled myself with the knowledge that we all had to die one day. “Darling girl.”
I stiffened at the sound of the familiar voice. It was impossible, it couldn’t be, and yet, as I turned to face the woman who had spoken, I could see her standing there with my own eyes. My lower lip trembled as I took her in. She looked whole. The same long hair that I remembered, the sparkling dark eyes, the curvy body, and the generous bosom. There was no sign of blood or gore. She wore a simple white dress, her hair cascading down her back. I blinked back tears. I was in a state of disbelief. I was afraid this was simply a hallucination as I stared, wanting nothing more than to touch her.
“Mother?” I whispered, my voice shaking.
She smiled and held out her arms. Like a child, I ran into them, feeling her embrace me tight. Her body was warm, as though she was still alive. I held on tight, not wanting to let go, tears coming to my eyes. I had missed her so much, all these years, and now that she was here, I never wanted to let her go. I could have stood in that embrace forever. I could feel her hand slowly stroking my back and hear the grief in her voice as she continued to speak to me, her voice soft and yet firm at the same time.
“Darling girl, it’s not your time yet” she whispered.
My time? I stepped back, slightly puzzled, and saw the
Concern on my mother’s face.
“Am I dead?” I asked confused and she smiled, gently shaking her head.
“No darling. Almost but not quite” she told me, pinning her gaze on me.
“Is that why I can see you?” I whispered, my throat constricting.
Was I close to death’s door? Was this some sort of space in between? I stared at my mother, wanting to understand.
“The moon goddess granted me this privilege. She shows mercy to those she feels deserve it. You are not the reason for my death Regan. You should not feel as though you are to blame. I have watched you grow up and I have seen your suffering at the hands of your father. I have mourned his hatred of you and wished I could have done something to make your life easier. Now I have a chance to speak to you.” She smiled tenderly at me, á tear trailing down her cheek.
I could feel my own tears beginning to well up in my eyes as I fought to keep them from trickling down.
“You have to go back,” she said, her voice almost pleading, as I stared and then began to shake my head in denial.
I didn’t want to go back. Not ever. I hated that pack and I wanted her. Why should I go?
“No, no Mother, let me stay here with you” I pleaded, feeling the tears begin to trail down my own cheeks. “Don’t make me go back. Let me be here. Let me be with you” I begged unashamedly. Tue, Jan
I missed her so much. Visiting her gravesite was not enough to keep her memory alive anymore. Here, I could touch her, I could talk to her. This was better.
She took a shuddering breath. “I wish I could let you but that would be selfish of me. I miss you with every fiber of my being Regan. I’m so proud of everything that you’ve had to endure and overcome. I have never stopped loving you” she cupped my cheek but sweetheart it’s not your time. You still have so much left to live for.”
“Like what?” I whispered “I don’t have you. All I have is….” I trailed off, feeling resentful.
All that was waiting for me was more pain, more abuse. How could she ask me to go back and endure more of what I already had?
“Two mates who love you. A future. I got my chance; I got to have the one thing I would never regret in a million years. I had you” She touched my cheek with a gentle smile on her face, I will always be there for you. I will always watch over you. You are my little girl but you can’t stay here” she repeated, looking deep into my eyes, “as much as I wish I could be selfish and make you stay, you have to leave darling heart.”
“Don’t make ma” My heart is breaking, and my voice is filled with agony. “Please, don’t leave me again.”
I had no one else. She was the only one I trusted, the only one I had loved and lost.
“I never left you” she promised, trying to blink back her tears, “just like the moon goddess has never abandoned you.” Lies, I thought angrily. The moon goddess had abandoned me years ago. Where was she when I went through all that pain and abuse at my father’s hands? At my family’s hands?
“I can’t do it. I can’t” I shouted panicked as she gave me a forlorn expression, stepping away from me “You don’t know what I’ve had to go through. What I’m still going through. Please Mother” I screamed, losing control of myself in a desperate bid to remain, refusing to go back.
I sobbed openly now, watching as she continued to back away. I felt a sudden flaring pain in my neck, causing me to gasp and clutch at it, wondering what the pain was from. My mother’s eyes rest on me and she slowly gives me a sad smile.
“Your mates are trying to save your life” my mother’s voice is soft and filled with grief. “They are marking you in order to give you the strength to survive.”
“I don’t want to” I screamed, sinking to my knees “I don’t want to live, I want you.”
She gave me a tearful smile. “I will be waiting for you when the time is right. I love you Regan” she whispered and then began to fade away as I began to cry, wrapping my arms around myself in earnest.
She was abandoning me again. The pain was overwhelming. It was like losing her all over again, but in a different way.
Another flaring pain, this time from the other side of my neck. My hand shoots out to clutch at it.
“Your mates are marking you to give you the strength to survive!
“No” I whispered, as the meadow around me began to disappear right in front of me. “No, no, no” I screamed, trying desperately to claw at it, as darkness consumed me and the pain in my chest began to flare, my body convulsing.
My eyes shot open. It felt as though my chest was on fire. I grabbed at it with my hand, barely acknowledging that I was in the hospital, the pain the only thing I could focus on. My mates stared, taken aback as I screamed in pain, bringing all the doctors and nurses rushing in to help. “What did you do?” I screamed, wishing I could go back and speak to my mother again and knowing it was impossible. 14:04 Tue, Jan 21 OG®.
They had ripped me out of that place and now I would never see her again. Did they know what they had done?
Xander and Xavier didn’t answer, looking stunned. I could feel the doctor looking me over, and the nurses checking the machines, but my gaze was blank as I stared around the room. I could feel myself trembling as I slowly came back to reality. The meadow was gone. My mother was gone. I was back at the pack. Back with my mates and my hand slowly crept to my neck, tracing the mark that had been left there, before moving to the other side and feeling the same. They had marked me, just like my mother had said. Marked me while I was unconscious, saving my life and severing me from the only link I had to my mother forever. My scream was so loud and so filled with anguish that everybody was forced to cover their ears. The doctor pricked me with a syringe of some kind of drug and I knew no
more.