Chapter 44
“Lucian…” she whispered, her voice breaking, the bouquet shaking in her hands. “Please… I’m sorry. I didn’t know… I didn’t know how much I was hurting you.”
Lucian’s eyes softened for a moment, but they remained distant, locked in a battle between the past and the present. “Avey…” his voice was calm, but there was a deep sadness to it, like a person who had given up on something they once cherished. “I begged you for years. I stood before you, just like you are now, and I gave you everything I had. And every single time… you pushed me away.”
Avey shook her head, her sobs growing louder as she struggled to speak through the pain. “I didn’t understand, Lucian… I didn’t realize”
Lucian cut her off, his voice still gentle, but firm. “But now you do? Now that I’ve finally let go, you suddenly understand?” His words weren’t accusatory, but there was a weight to them that made Avey’s heart break even more.
“I thought you hated me,”
i never hated you Avey sobbed, her hands gripping the bouquet tightly, as if holding on to it would somehow make him stay. “I thought you’d given up on me, and I didn’t know what to do. But after everything, after seeing what I did to you… I love you, Lucian. I always have, I just didn’t see it before.”
Lucian’s hands still rested on her shoulders, steadying her, even as he felt the sharp sting of her words. Love? Now? After everything?
The crowd watched in utter silence, the students and professors captivated by the unfolding drama. Some whispered to each other, others stood with bated breath, unable to look away from the heartbreaking scene playing out in front of them.
Lucian’s gaze hardened as he looked down at Avey, her tear-streaked face pleading for a chance she had refused him so many times. “I gave you my heart, Avey. Over and over again, I offered it to you, but you threw it away every single time.” His voice cracked slightly, betraying the pain he still felt deep inside. “I waited for you… and I waited until I had nothing left to give.
You didn’t see me then… and now you want me to come back? Now that I’ve finally learned to let go?”it was very expensive lesson believe me its very hard for me more then you can ever imagine”.
Avey’s tears fell harder, her breath coming in short gasps. “I know… I know, Lucian. I hurt you, and I don’t deserve you. But please, please give me a chance to make things right. I’ll spend the rest of my life making it up to you. I swear”
But Lucian shook his head slowly, gently removing his hands from her shoulders. “It’s too late, Avey.” His words were like a dagger, sharp and final, cutting through the air between them.
Lucian’s gaze lingered on Avey, his heart heavy with the weight of a lifetime of pain. He placed a trembling hand on his chest, the place that had once held so much love for her but now felt hollow, ravaged by wounds that would never fully heal. His voice wavered as he spoke, each word soaked in quiet anguish.
“It’s not that I don’t want you,” he began softly, eyes dark with sorrow. “It’s just… I never want to feel that pain again. I can’t, Avey. I don’t know how to. I’m scared no, terrified.” He swallowed, as if the admission alone burned on his tongue. “I don’t think I can ever fall in love again.
Not with anyone. It’s not possible anymore.”
He dropped his gaze, letting out a bitter laugh that barely reached his eyes. “This heart of mine… it’s in shambles. It’s been ripped apart so many times, there’s nothing left to offer. So many holes, so much damage. I don’t think anyone” he paused, his voice dropping to almost a whisper “I don’t think anyone would want to live there.”
A sad smile curled on his lips, a smile that hurt more than any words could. It was the smile of someone who had been through too much and no longer believed in the hope he once clung to. And that smile, that resigned, heartbroken smile, was what finally shattered Avey.
The weight of his rejection wasn’t even the worst part anymore it was the look in his eyes. The tiredness. The brokenness. She felt as though her entire world was caving in, the ground slipping away beneath her. His words hit her like crashing waves, one after the other, pulling her under, suffocating her in regret.
Her legs wobbled, and for a moment, she almost collapsed, but she forced herself to stand, even as her body shook.
The flowers she held were wilting now, just like the hope she had held onto for this second chance.
Lucian’s gaze softened briefly as he watched her struggle, his heart stirring with sympathy for the girl he had loved with everything he had. The girl who, for so long, had been the sun in his sky, the one he had fought for, the one he had sacrificed everything for. But now, he had nothing left to give her.
Avey’s head bowed, tears spilling onto the ground in silent surrender. The despair she felt was all-encompassing, her heart breaking with every beat, her breath ragged as she tried to keep herself from falling apart completely. She had come here to mend what was broken, but now it seemed she was too late.
Lucian, seeing her like this, sighed softly. He gently lifted her chin, his fingers brushing against her skin like a whisper of the past. His touch was tender, not because he still harbored love for her, but because he couldn’t bear to see anyone especially her suffer in front of him. He met her tear-filled eyes, his own gaze filled with the ghost of a once-burning affection.
“Don’t cry, Avey,” he said, his voice tender, though it carried a finality she couldn’t ignore. “There was a time in my life when you were my everything. You were the reason I stood when I didn’t think I could. You got me through the darkest times, and I’m grateful for that. You helped me survive when I thought I couldn’t.”
As he wiped her tears away, there was a gentleness in his actions that made it even harder for Avey to breathe. His touch was so soft, so careful, it felt like he was handling a part of himself. But his expression though kind was one of a man who had already let go.
Avey couldn’t bring herself to look at him any longer. She was drowning in her guilt, consumed by the unbearable thought of being separated from him forever. The thought of a future without Lucian was suffocating, a reality she couldn’t face. She had been given a second chance, but it was slipping through her fingers like sand.
In her last life, she hadn’t seen it. She hadn’t realized how much Lucian had meant to her until it was too late. Now, she had come back with the knowledge of her mistakes, determined to make things right, but the universe had played a cruel joke on her. If only she had returned a little earlier just a year or two maybe then she could’ve prevented this heartbreak.
She couldn’t understand how everything had changed so much, how things had spiraled so far out of her control. She had imagined that coming back in time would give her a chance to fix everything, but here she was, standing in front of the one person she had come back for, and he was slipping away.
Lucian watched her, his heart aching despite everything. He hated seeing her like this, but he couldn’t let himself fall back into that cycle of hurt and longing. It had taken him too long to heal, and even now, he wasn’t sure he was fully whole.
“Hey, Avey… don’t cry anymore,” Lucian said, his voice barely a whisper, as if speaking any louder would shatter the fragile moment between them. Her body shook as she tried to contain her sobs, her wide, teary eyes locked onto his, a broken smile on her lips that mirrored the one on his face.
He wiped her tears once more, his touch lingering longer this time, as if he were saying goodbye. And in that moment, Avey realized something: Lucian wasn’t rejecting her out of anger or bitterness. It wasn’t that he didn’t care anymore it was that he had been hurt too deeply, scarred too badly to let her in again.
His heart had been bruised beyond repair, and he was simply too afraid to feel that kind of pain again.
But for Avey, that was the hardest part to accept. Not that he didn’t love her anymore, but that he was too broken to try again.
you know what avey i…lucian looked at her
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