Chapter 156
“Lucy,” Olivia called softly, her voice trembling with a mixture of anxiety and desperation. “so Did you… did you like it?” She tried to sound sweet and gentle, forcing a small smile to mask the turmoil raging inside her, but the strain was evident in her tone.
When Lucian didn’t respond, Olivia’s smile faltered, her hands nervously clasping together in front of her. She took a shaky breath, her eyes darting to the gifts piled around him, then back to his face.
“I… I’m sorry if you didn’t like any of it,” she murmured, her voice barely above a whisper. “I just… didn’t have much time to prepare. Me and Rose, we went out this afternoon and bought everything we thought you might like.”
Her voice cracked, but she quickly bit her lip, determined not to let her emotions spill over. She hesitated, her words hanging in the air like an unfinished thought.
“But I guess I…” Olivia stopped mid-sentence, unable to finish. Her throat tightened, and she blinked rapidly, fighting back the tears threatening to escape.
She forced another shaky smile, her hands rubbing over her arms as if trying to comfort herself. “Don’t feel bad. I-I’ll go buy more tomorrow,” she said quickly, her voice rising slightly with forced cheerfulness. “I’ll find something better. Something you’ll definitely like. I promise.”
Lucian’s gaze remained on her, his expression unreadable, as she shifted her attention to the gift boxes. She let out a soft, almost inaudible laugh, but it sounded hollow. “Yes… for sure. Tomorrow,” she whispered, almost as if convincing herself. “Tomorrow… again.”
The word tumbled from her lips like a fragile prayer, a mantra she clung to desperately. She repeated it under her breath, her voice growing softer and more broken each time. “Tomorrow… tomorrow…”
Her hands rubbed her arms again, this time more forcefully, as if trying to hold herself together. She smiled weakly, but it was clear she was on the verge of tears. Her eyes glistened, her composure fraying with every passing moment.
All she wanted was to make Lucian happy. To show him that she had changed, that she was trying to be better. No, she thought, I just want him to see that I care. That I’ve always cared, even when I didn’t show it.
Olivia turned her head slightly, glancing at Rose for support. She saw the sadness in Rose’s eyes, the way her gaze lingered on the empty boxes and Lucian’s still, blank expression. Rose’s stoic facade was slipping, and though she tried to maintain her pride, the pain in her eyes was unmistakable.
They had done all of this for Lucian to bring him the happiness he had missed for so many years. But now, sitting in this silent room, it felt like their efforts were slipping through their fingers.
Some things can’t be undone, Olivia thought bitterly, her chest tightening with the weight of her regret.
Finally, she turned back to Lucian, her trembling hands clenched at her sides. “Don’t worry,” she said, her voice barely above a whisper. “Don’t stress about it. It’s alright. I know I was… asking too much.” She forced a small, apologetic smile, but her words wavered.
It must be so strange for him, she thought, her heart aching. After all those years of ignoring him, of treating him so coldly, and now… now I think I can fix it with some gifts? It’s selfish. All of this is selfish.
Her hand reached into the pocket of her pajama pants, her fingers brushing against the small envelope tucked inside. Her movements stilled for a moment, hesitation washing over her. Then, with a deep, trembling breath, she pulled it out.
Her hand trembled as she held the letter, her grip unsteady. She stepped closer to Lucian, her movements slow and careful, as though afraid he might pull away. She leaned down, her heart pounding, and gently slid the letter into the pocket of his white shirt.
Lucian’s eyes dropped to her hand as it slipped the letter into his pocket. She lingered for a moment, her fingers brushing against the fabric before she pulled her hand away.
Then, as if moved by an invisible force, Olivia raised her hand again. This time, she gently patted the pocket over his chest, her palm resting lightly against him. Her touch was soft, tentative, almost reverent.
But in her heart, she wasn’t just patting his shirt. She was reaching for him, for the heart she had hurt so many times before. She wanted to comfort him, to soothe the wounds she had inflicted, even if just for a moment.
Lucian didn’t move. He stayed still, his gaze dropping to the hand resting on his chest. His breath hitched slightly, but he said nothing, his silence pressing down on her like a weight.
Olivia’s lips trembled as she fought back the tears threatening to spill. Her chest felt tight, her breath uneven as she tried to steady herself. She wanted so desperately to speak, to pour her heart out, to say everything she had kept buried for so long. But the words refused to come.
Her trembling hand lingered near his chest, the weight of the letter she had just placed in his pocket almost unbearable. She clung to the hope that it would somehow speak the words her voice couldn’t carry.
“Read this letter,” she whispered, her voice trembling like a fragile thread. “When you’re free, when you’re alone… but please, Lucian.” Her voice cracked, and she swallowed hard, forcing the plea from her lips. “Please… please read it, okay? Please read it.”
Her fragile smile wavered as she spoke, trying to mask the vulnerability spilling from her every word. Her lips quivered, her voice barely holding together, but she still tried to keep her expression soft and reassuring.
Lucian, who had been silent all this time, finally moved. He tilted his head upward, his face lifting to meet hers. Olivia froze, her breath catching in her throat. She was leaning down slightly, and now their faces were close so close that she could see the smallest flicker of emotion in his deep, searching eyes.
Lucian looked into her eyes, his gaze piercing yet quiet. He didn’t speak, but the intensity of his silence said more than any words could.
Olivia’s heart clenched painfully. Her own eyes, filled with a raw, unspoken plea, stared back into his. Anxiety swirled within her, but she forced herself to hold his gaze. Her lips curled into a trembling smile her biggest, sweetest smile as if trying to show him the love she felt but couldn’t articulate.
Do you see it, Lucian? she thought desperately. Do you see how much I love you?
For a moment, they just looked at each other, a fragile connection forming in the silence. But then, hesitation flickered in Olivia’s eyes. A shadow of doubt crept into her expression, as if she feared she had overstepped.
And then, as though deciding to let everything go, to surrender to the moment, Olivia moved.
She lifted both hands slowly, her movements careful and deliberate, as if afraid he might pull away. Her white, trembling fingers reached out and cupped Lucian’s face gently. Her touch was warm, her hands soft but unsteady as they cradled his cheeks.
“Lucy,” she whispered, her voice breaking.
Her gaze lingered on his face for a moment longer, drinking in the sight of her son the son she had wronged, the son she had failed, and yet the son she loved with every fiber of her being.
Tears brimmed in her eyes, but she ignored them as she leaned forward, her movements slow and tender. Her lips brushed against his forehead in a gentle, almost reverent kiss.
As her lips touched his skin, the strongest face she had been holding together finally crumbled. The dam broke, and the tears she had fought so hard to suppress spilled freely down her cheeks. She pulled back just slightly, her hands still cradling his face as she looked at him with tear-filled eyes.
Her voice, raw and trembling, came out in a soft, broken whisper. “Just… just know I love you. Always. I really love you, My Lucy… and I always will.”
Her tears fell like rain, each one carrying the weight of years of regret, guilt, and love. Her hands gently caressed his face, as if trying to memorize every detail, every contour.
Lucian, still silent, felt the warmth of her tears against his skin. His heart ached as he watched her break down in front of him, her vulnerability laid bare. Her words echoed in his mind, and for the first time, he saw her not as the woman who had failed him, but as someone desperately trying to make amends a mother who loved him, even if it had taken her too long to show it.
The moment hung heavy between them, raw and unfiltered. For Olivia, it was a release of everything she had held inside for years. For Lucian, it was a glimpse into the depth of her love a love that, despite everything, had endured.
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